Friday, July 1, 2011
Musings: Art Outside the Box: Hiding in Plain Sight and the Musical Sandbox Squabble
Every so often I tell myself that all I did was quilt a fish. How silly. Well, yes, I quilted a fish. And who is that fish? I find all art is incredibly ( and somehow mindlessly) self involved.
I've recently found myself in an especially stupid squabble with someone at my church. I won't say which one. We are all mostly alike and there's one of every kind in every church on the planet.You can put in the name of any church you've ever been to, and that's the one. It turned into a tug of war over the choir music.
There are two major ways to win a tug of war.With that said, there are a half dozen different dirty tricks. You can pull, let up, tell them to look over there and yank, talk about their mom's hygene. Those are all ways to win at tug of war. But the bottom line is simple. You either tug harder than they do or you let go of the rope.
But like all wars, you have to ask, "What's the prize? And what is the price?"
I'm a very faithful church goer for several reasons. Sheer loneliness is a significant part of it. A hunger for ritual, certainly a chunk. I believe God to be everywhere, but I'm hoping He hasn't left the building. Mostly, I'm hoping to be a better me.
But I didn't miss the fact that I'm in a room with people. Of course they're scary. I'm sure I am too to them. What was I doing in the choir? I was hanging out in plain sight and perfectly hidden as an alto in the first row. So when we got an organist who insisted I sing out of my range or stay silent, I lost my place to hide. He's a world class organist. I'm an alto in the back.He's also world class at other things I won't mention. If we're going to play tug of war, I don't think I have the pull.
Who wins at tug of war? I can't believe the guy with the muddy bottom who pulled hardest really won. His very own muddy bottom? What a prize!
So here I am in my quilt, trying to hide somewhere else.Here I am hunting a church with a choir loft or another place for an odd artist to fit in. Perhaps I can rethink that hiding bit. It's not like I'm good at it. I'm looking at several churches, none of which have a choir at all, and wondering if there's a space under the floor. It's all autobiographical, really.
I've recently found myself in an especially stupid squabble with someone at my church. I won't say which one. We are all mostly alike and there's one of every kind in every church on the planet.You can put in the name of any church you've ever been to, and that's the one. It turned into a tug of war over the choir music.
There are two major ways to win a tug of war.With that said, there are a half dozen different dirty tricks. You can pull, let up, tell them to look over there and yank, talk about their mom's hygene. Those are all ways to win at tug of war. But the bottom line is simple. You either tug harder than they do or you let go of the rope.
But like all wars, you have to ask, "What's the prize? And what is the price?"
I'm a very faithful church goer for several reasons. Sheer loneliness is a significant part of it. A hunger for ritual, certainly a chunk. I believe God to be everywhere, but I'm hoping He hasn't left the building. Mostly, I'm hoping to be a better me.
But I didn't miss the fact that I'm in a room with people. Of course they're scary. I'm sure I am too to them. What was I doing in the choir? I was hanging out in plain sight and perfectly hidden as an alto in the first row. So when we got an organist who insisted I sing out of my range or stay silent, I lost my place to hide. He's a world class organist. I'm an alto in the back.He's also world class at other things I won't mention. If we're going to play tug of war, I don't think I have the pull.
Who wins at tug of war? I can't believe the guy with the muddy bottom who pulled hardest really won. His very own muddy bottom? What a prize!
So here I am in my quilt, trying to hide somewhere else.Here I am hunting a church with a choir loft or another place for an odd artist to fit in. Perhaps I can rethink that hiding bit. It's not like I'm good at it. I'm looking at several churches, none of which have a choir at all, and wondering if there's a space under the floor. It's all autobiographical, really.
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3 comments:
Hi Ellen, I had the same thing happen in my church choir, I just wanted to blend in, but the director thinks everyone needs to solo once in a while. I quit the choir. Then I quit the church. I am hiding too! I have even commented as anonymous!
Ellen, you have a lovely voice and I insist to the muddy-bottomed Choirmaster that you should be able to express it in whatever key/range you wish.
Loves and oodles of support,
Tina and Chevy and Lotus and Andy in San Diego
(ps) (whisper here) andy just turned 50 and he wouldn't let us celebrate and was a butt about accusing me of organising some huge blowout party. Every day ... that look. :) Hugs and love!
Ellen, I'm glad you found our church! I'm glad you're in our church choir! Meeting you and talking with you this past Sunday was a joy.Thank you for the rosary.
I'm thoroughly enjoying your website and blogs. Your quilt art is spectacular and I look forward to seeing it in person someday. Please don't hide, what talent you have and the willingness to share it with others is wonderful. Look at yourself, such a blessing to us, the world!
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